Some thoughts and lessons after turning 29
Wrote this on a legal pad on my bday and thought why not put it as a newsletter entry
Thank you, running
I never knew that I’d find an affinity for long-distance running.
What started as a pandemic hobby eventually became a medium for self-improvement and self-discovery.
I’ve been running for 2+ years now and don’t see myself stopping anytime soon (even after I said I’d take a break so many times).
As Marcus Milione said:
I constantly find myself in (1) this endless cycle of setting new goals to find out what else my mind and body can do and (2) this love/hate relationship for the sport that I’ve learned to embrace.
Above everything else, running also opened up doors to friendships and a community that I’m very grateful for.
To all the people I’ve met and shared miles with along the way, thank you.
Health is the most valuable asset
A healthy man wants a thousand things, a sick man only wants one." - Confucius
Being told that I was obese (220lbs) with pre-hypertension plus a risk of diabetes at 24 years old was my wake-up call to start taking care of myself again.
I spent the last 4 years getting my health on track and I’ve never felt better.
Life is short and I don’t intend on wasting it hindered by illness.
Call your parents and visit them whenever you can
I’ve spent most of my 20s being away from my parents after I left the Philippines and the fact that they’re getting older bugs me a lot nowadays.
While I know time is out of my control, I try my best to give them a call and visit them whenever I get the chance.
Take more pictures
Sometime last year, my mom started sending us old photos in our family group chat, which made me emotional.
Seeing those photos unlocked many core memories and I started to get why she put so much time and effort in taking those over the years.
I want to put in the same effort as my mom to preserve memories and to share stories.
I’m also looking to get a high-end camera and not just use my iPhone.
Confront trauma. Don’t run away from it
Time heals wounds but it doesn’t resolve unresolved issues. These issues never die. They are buried and will surface in other ways. The only way to overcome them is to confront them.
I recently opened up about some childhood/teenage trauma that I hid for years in this post.
I grew tired of getting episodes about it as an adult so I finally decided to share it.
Reviving the entrepreneurial spirit
I took a break from my entrepreneurial ambitions and ventures when I moved to LA.
People asked me what happened to the startup incubator I co-founded and the other ventures I was working on.
Simple answer: I got burnt out and I wanted to put more attention on my family and my well-being.
After a 2-year break, I found myself thinking about starting something again but it’s no longer going to be in tech.
I’ve been inspired by the running community and also the FilAm community and I’ve been looking to start something that combines the two.
Biggest influences/inspo recently: KRC, Bandit Running, Minted New York
We’ll see what we can cook up.
Staying grounded and remembering my roots
— “Sobrang Amerikano ka na.“ (You’re too American now)
— “Amboy!!” (American boy)
Immigrant Filipinos typically take these as compliments because they validate the idea of them fully assimilating to the American way of living.
It was a different case for me. It bothered me because it was true. I started to be more American and set aside my Filipino identity (my language, my values, etc.)
That’s why I’ve been making an effort to showcase who I am like wearing Filipino jerseys and shirts or going to places where I can speak my language.
Learn storytelling
My focus for the next year is to learn how to tell stories and find a medium I’m comfortable with.
I started experimenting with stand-up comedy but it didn’t work out.
Now I’m looking to play around with video and write more on this newsletter.
Career diversification
Moving to LA opened up a lot of doors for me to discover and meet other people with careers outside of tech.
For the next 5 years, I’m looking into trying my interests in real estate, financial advice, and even personal training.
Do your best not to get into debt
One of the best ways to live a life with less stress is to not have any debt.
I paid off a significant amount of debt in 11 months and I’ve never been happier.
Financial Simplicity
After getting out of debt, I focused on keeping things simple
I was always looking to find ways to grow my money but I learned that doing too much can backfire on you.
I liquidated my crypto assets, and wine, deleted Robinhood, and also stopped angel investing.
I became more patient and stuck with what has historically worked for years: the S&P 500, 401k, Roth IRA, etc.
Spend money on what makes you happy and ruthlessly cut back on things you don’t care about.
Good/Bad, Right/Wrong > Better/worst
We live in a complex world but I think things should always go back to first principles of what is good/bad or right/wrong.
Be more present
I used to spend 99.99% of my time looking forward which can be filled with positive outlooks or even worry. It stressed me tf out.
Now I try to balance it out.
5% look back — mistakes I made that want to avoid and things I’ve learned
90% present — deal with what I have in front of me
5% look forward — goals, aspirations, 5-year plan
Never forget your younger side
People have always told me “You’re very mature for your age”.
In hindsight, I guess it’s true.
I had to ‘grow up’ early at 12 years old and I learned how to be independent at a very young age.
I also moved to a country at 21 where I started from zero with no safety net. All I had was guts and dreams to make things work out.
I may have matured too quickly but I try to give myself the space to feel like a kid again (ie. Go to Disneyland, watch old cartoons, play video games, etc.)
Have a plan but also be flexible
Planning is great and all, but when a good opportunity pops up, go for it.
Don’t be scared to take a bit of a risk. Hard work brings good chances your way, but it’s on you to grab them when they show up.
Life is supposed to be uncomfortable. Accept it
This goes without saying.
Happiness is a choice and skill that can be learned
Your attitude towards life influences your happiness, not what happens to you.
If you’re unhappy about something, go do something about it.
Listen to what other people say.
90% of what you hear from people is BS but there’s always a good 10% that’s constructive to help improve yourself.
People who don’t listen are too caught up with their egos.